She Sells Sanctuary.

7/28/18

Another Saturday that's bringing the heat. Luckily, Ginger is a cool customer, and

ready for the day, which now includes a trip to the vet. Poor thing's snout is swollen from I-don't-no-what. Maybe a bug bite/sting that just happened(?)- whatever, we are headed over to the vet. Why is it always on a Saturday? Not that weekends mean that much to me since I am mostly a stay-at-home type these days, or at least until my classes at Emerson start again in September. So we are tooling around in Dani's Jeep- Ben and Dani borrowed our car to go to Montreal for the weekend. It's the real JEEP; ragtop, bouncy, high-up, no AC, roll down windows, doors come off too. I've suddenly been transported back to my teenage Craig years, when I'd cruise around in my '68 Mustang convertible (pic shown here, actual color/style, but by in no means was mine in this kind of shape. I hope it's still out there, leaving rubber somewhere, and looking like this gal). I forgot how noisy ragtops were- can't here a damn thing, but with a sea breeze blowing through the car, and cruising along the water, I feel about 40 years younger in spirit, and cooler, physically and mentally. A fun treat for my soul, and Ginger seemed to like it, except for the occasional big bump that tosses her a bit around the back seat before she steadies herself once again.

I'm glad to report that Abby seems a bit better the last couple of days. The pain is still there, but has subsided from where it was the beginning of the week. I/we can only hope it continues to abate until we get to the lab/doctor/chemo appointments this Mon./Tues. It's been a tough slog for Abby as I've been reporting, but we hope it means the chemo's working on the tumors. Does that make it worthwhile? I guess so, because we all want her to beat this thing, but geez, does it have to be like this? Pain to get rid of pain? No pain no gain? Seems all so unfair, which of course it is. Whoever said life was fair? I heard that a lot growing up, and of course, that's true too. A fair and equitable life (is that redundant?) is what most of want and desire I think. And most of us hopefully achieve that for at least part of our time on our perpetually spinning planet (unless you're a flat-earther then never mind). I'm reminded of how much Abby and our lives and family have had a very good run, not that it's always been easy, or maybe ever easy, as I don't think I'd really describe my life as easy, and that's ok. No one ever said it would be easy either. But it's been GOOD, and in many ways, still is. Do I hope it gets better? Damn right I do, and that of course starts with Abby, and what the future hopefully brings in the way of positive treatment(s) and managing this black hole of a disease.

Sunday: I got a call yesterday from the insurance company, at 7:45 pm no less; odd company hours I must say, but I suppose cancer never sleeps either. But they informed me that our request for "Tarceva" had been approved, which was wonderful but puzzling news, since I hadn't even been pursuing that drug- it was "Tagrisso" that we were after, and denied, repeatedly. But Tarceva is a similar, albeit an older and less costly drug, that our friend and warrior Nila Webster was on for 5+ years and it saved her life. Eventually, it became less effective and she switched over to Tagrisso, but for 5 years it worked. So now we at least have another Option (B) should the current chemo regimen not work, or just prove too difficult for Abby to handle. Option B or even C are two of the few things I ever think ahead about, down the road. Otherwise, there's no prognosticating on my part at all- it just makes my head explode, "Scanners"-style (an old David Cronenberg movie).

Enjoy what's left of the weekend everyone- two days with lower temps and humidity cools the cockles of my heart, especially since I heard the long-term forecast is high humidity and temps into mid-friggin' August. Gotta love global warming (if it truly exists- we can ask the flat-earthers what they think). Tomorrow night I'm having a rare treat; going to the Revolution 3 concert at Blue Hill Pavilion with The Cult, Bush, and Stone Temple Pilots. Thanks Steve Landry for being my rock/metal friend, and enduring the accompanying hearing loss we are sure to have as the tix are in the 4th row center(ish). My tinnitus already rings 24/7/365, due to all the years going to concerts, being an occasional roadie, and listening to music w/my Koss headphones glued to my eardrums for hours in the basement at volumes not meant for the human ears. At this point in my life, oh well, I've already gone down that road, and I'm not about to start putting earplugs in now. You can't block out life- you might be able to tone it down a bit which is good and necessary to do sometimes, but in my world right now I live 24/7/365 on full alert for the most part. And so the volume is almost always set at "11", leaving me no choice but to embrace it and go with the tonal flow. The Audiologist's will have to wait, unless they start a band, and then I'm there.

Love to All-

Abby, Craig, Ben and Aliza