August 14, 2017
Weekend wrap-up everyone. Mostly uneventful, which I guess in the scheme of things, is eventful in of itself. Still figuring out home care options, work options, who can I teach suctioning and feeding options. I'm tired just thinking about it, though I'm tired just period. My pal Ken Soltz came up for a visit again last night- didn't make him clean or anything this time, and we actually went out for a drink and got some take out. I introduced him to the classic film (in my opinion anyway) "Grosse Pointe Blank"- one of my favorite fun movies. John and Joan Cusack, Dan Ackroyd (one of his better understated roles), a very young Hank Azaria, Minnie Driver, and even a very young "Abraham" for you/us Walking Dead fans playing a former high school bully- he still looks the same- just a bit beefier. Great 80s soundtrack too, with some awesome outfits to match.
This morning started out with a bang, literally, as I attempted to kill myself by slamming my forehead into the molding of Ben Grant's door frame. I saw many many stars; the recently departed Glen Campbell; Goldie Hawn from her Laugh-In days; and Samuel L. Jackson, just because I think he's in everything these days. In that brief moment of shock and stupidity I was able to stagger to the bathroom, happy that I hadn't knocked myself out, to check out the damage- always that oh oh moment. Sure enough, nice gash, gaining some blood flow momentum, so I grabbed a wad of tissues, went downstairs and grabbed an ice pack and some paper towels, and applied some pressure and the ice. Fortunately it was just me and the dogs, as Abby Trotter Grant and Aliza were still asleep, so I just sat there for awhile while the fainting feeling went away. When I finally checked the bathroom mirror, I figured it was a few stiches-worthy, but no way was this boy seeing the inside of an emergency room again unless I was on a gurney.
By now it was about 10:15 so I figured I could wake up Aliza Grant, and fortunately she was just coming out of her slumber. Off you go daughter to CVS to get daddy some liquid bandage and butterfly bandages so he can practice doctoring on himself. I actually think I did a decent job, and I've done this sort of home repair before with decent results. See exhibit "A" attached to this post.
After licking my wounds, or at least dressing them, I went to get one of Abby's meds from the fridge. An innocent act that I'm sure happens a million times a day without an entire pitcher of Matcha iced green tea that someone was looking forward to having spilling all over the lower shelf of the fridge, cascading down into the freezer section below, welling up into the bin of ice where the ice maker-man cometh and goeth. Normally that might give me a headache, but since my head was throbbing already and I didn't want to take any Ibuprofen because of that pesky blood-thinning side effect, it was irrelevant how much insult to injury I could incur.
Later on in the day, a Dame in shining armor, (Susie) Susan K. Moulton, came by to clean the house. I still feel awkward accepting these acts of kindness, especially one as gruesome as house cleaning. Susie had assured me she actually enjoyed cleaning, as well as root canals, dysentery, and the occasional punch to the gut. Ok, so I made everything up except for her love of cleaning, which is still a mystery to me but I appreciate everyone’s right to like what they like and who am I to argue. So, many many thanks Susie and you did such an awesome that I put your name on Angie’s list- hope you don’t mind.
Rest of the day was fairly uneventful, suctioning here, meds there, feeding, gauze changing, devil eyes occasionally from wife for… idk existing maybe or maybe because because because of all the wonderful things I do. The devil eyes I refer to was the look she first gave me in ICU when i didn’t understand what she was mouthing to me, or couldn’t read her handwriting due to medically induced sloppy penmanship. So the moniker stuck. But then I also got the nice Abby smile, a touch on the hand, a knowing glance that we’re going through this together and that we still love each other and yes it sucks. A lot. A real lot. But we are mostly on the same page most days, most hours, sometimes minute-to minute. We are trapped on this insane roller coaster together- where the bar never comes up to release you as there is no end to the ride for now, so you buckle up, suck it up, as some of the twists and turns make you want to get off and puke but you can’t, so you just hold on because that’s what you have to do. And some days the ride takes you, bangs you around and you feel like you have no control, but sometimes you are grooving in sync with the ride together and can handle whatever hills and twists and turns it throws in your path. Zen and the art of roller coaster riding anyone?
Hope everyone got out and enjoyed their weekend. I am happy for the small things, like seeing it’s been 25 days since we’ve hit 90 degrees. Little things folks, little things. Love to all, and talk soon.
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