9/12/17

Once again, I’ve fallen behind on keeping you all informed- Sept. 4th I’ve been, ahem, told (shame sweeps across his face). I suppose given what’s been going on in the world between Hurricane’s Harvey, Irma, newcomer to the possible scene Jose, North Korea craziness, the Patriots debacle, our problem(s) seem a bit smaller in scale (ok, yes, the Patriots will be fine). So much tragedy, natural and otherwise. Probably why for the first month that Abby was sick, I couldn’t turn on the news unless it was for the (local) weather or sports- anything else just felt too miserable and added insult to injury. So I’m back watching, in much smaller doses, and as fascinated as I am by weather in general, I couldn't do the 24/7 Irma coverage, even though my brother lives in Naples (made the right call 2 days ago and left with his family, dogs, medical stuff, grandkids and headed to Atlanta) and my cousin Erin is riding it out in Fort Lauderdale. Fingers crossed that they have little damage to their homes, and I know physically they are aok. And yes, prayers and thoughts to all of you who have family/friends going through this- it sucks.

So back to our little reality show and its cast of characters. Our star, Abby, has shone brightly the past week and this one so far. She is continuing to learn more about her care, is navigating her chemo and radiation pretty well (all things considered), and has gained a pound and a half to boot. She has about 10 more treatments to go at this point, and they are now going to focus the radiation in a smaller radius as the tumor has shown continued signs of slowly shrinking. And today was her last day of chemo; hallelujah. Game plan is to hopefully finish up the next two weeks and then do a full round of scans 3-4 weeks later, as the chemo and radiation will continue to work even after treatment stops, like that thing in the oven you should’ve taken out a lot sooner since it continued to cook well past it’s prime, though in this case it’s a good thing. Then, they will regroup and plan for what’s next. Still one day, one week at a time, as we continue to venture into the unknown, finding our way through the dark with the help of lots and lots of people, both of the doctoring kind and friend and family kind. Aliza and Ben are back into their scholarly routines and pursuits, so it’s back to empty nesting, though they will be making many more visits home this semester than last. 

One of my many excuses for tailing off on my posts is exhaustion- terrible excuse I know- but my brain and body, I believe, used up so much adrenaline the first 6 weeks or so trying to keep me going that I find myself now wondering who unplugged me when I wasn’t looking. It’s those damn kids again- and to quote Moe, “Why I oughta…” Maybe it’s like a sugar crash, though I don’t really eat sweets… no, I think more like after you’ve had too big of a meal, maybe at lunch, maybe at work, and you can’t leave your desk. No coffee break. No stretching. You’re just kinda stuck there staring at your screen trying to keep your droopy eyes open. Best analogy I got for ‘ya right now.

I suppose the fact that I started teaching my two night classes at Emerson might have something to do with it as well. Mon. and Wed. nights, 6-9:45pm, spewing my knowledge about “Visual Literacy” (Mon), as well as "Design and Layout” (Wed). Been at Emerson for 12 years, which is hard to believe, plus I still have my “day” job that I’m trying manage and balance at the ad agency I work at. But right now, I think I should be teaching Cancer 101 since I’m learning it in real time, though somehow I don’t see it fitting into the current MarCom curriculum at Emerson unless I can espouse on about the use of white space (or lack thereof) and typography and color (or lack thereof) in Cancer publications and reports. I just don’t see the lines forming to register.

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this embarrassing little factoid, but we’ve gone from being the house that never had more than one trash barrel (if that) with many many recycling bins, to basically an environmental haunted house nightmare. So much clean-up to be done constantly- poor Abby literally goes through a box of tissues every single day (should’ve bought stock in Kleenex- but you folks still have a chance as I promise we will continue to buy them). Having a trachea tube is not for the squeamish or the tidy or the environmentalist, or honestly f*ck it, it’s really not for anyone, who am I kidding. So many supplies that have one-time usage and you through them out- gloves, plastic tubing, plastic connectors, syringes, packaging, more plastic tubing, regular gauze, T- gauze squares, inner plastic cannulas (removable tube that goes inside the bigger trachea tube), plus various other paper packaging, plastic cups, and more more more. Yes, I do maniacally recycle all the plastic that I can and all the stupid scraps of paper that I can and all her food that comes in juice box sizes (7 per day X 30 days = 210 per month). Plus sterile saline bottles in various sizes, paper towel rolls by the bushel, and oh Mother Earth I’m just really sorry, but Cancer is a mother f’er in so many trashy ways. 

We did find out that Abby is indeed eligible for SSDI (Soc. Sec. Disability Ins.), and the first payment will be speedily along on… wait for it… Feb. 28, 2018. I have dutifully marked it on my calendar, no, wait, I do not have a 2018 calendar yet. Guess you have to be “disabled” for 5 calendar months after your initial diagnosis, then they pay 30 days behind. Why? Well I do not know, sir. Just our government working full-steam backwards. Astern mateys! And Sherman set the way-back machine to whenever, as long as it’s behind the times. 

Tonight will most likely be my last night for many nights and weeks to come during the week that I will not be grading assignments or doing school-related educationally-induced dances by the glow of the laptop. But even if I am not updating you all as frequently, I can assure you I/we are thinking of you all and what a difference you’ve made in our lives daily, helping us get through this with some sense of dignity, validity, humor, and hope. And please also know that it usually means that everything is mostly AOK, except that sleepy time is all the time, and it’s darn hard to concentrate when you’re constantly yawning big gaping mouthfuls of air that your brain is trying desperately to co-op to keep you from becoming that guy zombie extra who gets his head caught in some fence or door and remains there for the rest of the show. Brains- I definitely need brains.